Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Retarded-Ass Laws . . . I Doubt They're True

  • In Marshalltown, Iowa, horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
  • Hunting camels is prohibited in Arizona
  • It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds in Idaho
  •  In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00.
  • In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
  • In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.
  • Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
  • It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.
  • If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates
  • It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals in local zoos

 

  • TENNESSEE
  • More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.
  • It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
  • Stealing a horse is punishible by hanging.
  • Driving is not to be done while asleep.
  • You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
  • No one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk.
  • It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
  • Panhandlers must first obtain a $10 permit before begging on the streets of downtown Memphis. (Passed in 1996)
  • It's illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM
  • It is illegal to give any pie to fellow diners. It is also illegal to take unfinished pie home. All pie must be eaten on the premises.

 

  • FLORIDA
  • It is considered an offense to shower naked.
  • If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
  • You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays
  • A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing
  • Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal
  • The molestation of trash cans is banned.
  • It is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown
  • A woman can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils

 

  • CALIFORNIA
  • Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
  • No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
  • Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
  • You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
  • It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".
  • It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.
  • Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine
  • Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street
  • Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash.
  • It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.

 

  • ARIZONA
  • Hunting camels is prohibited.
  • Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs
  • A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
  • It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
  • When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.

 

  • TEXAS
  • A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
  • It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.
  • It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
  • Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights

Posted at 12:17 am by uncledeadly
No One Loves Me  

Useless Facts

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age. Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (Maybe Kill Bill's special effects WEREN'T all that ridiculous)

A a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.


The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump

A cat's urine glows under a black light.


Starfish have no brains.

Polar bears are left-handed.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig?)


Posted at 12:01 am by uncledeadly
1 Person(s) Love(s) Me  

Monday, February 21, 2005
More Tests

I am 59% Hippie.
I am so Hippie, Man!
I am not a child of the 60’s but my heart is true to the cause, man. I realize that being a hippie is not just bell bottoms and tie-dye. It is also about the drugs and smelling bad, too!

I am 66% Asshole/Bitch.
Sort of Assholy or Bitchy!
I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em.

Posted at 07:07 pm by uncledeadly
1 Person(s) Love(s) Me  

Wednesday, February 02, 2005
An Interesting Collection of Thoughts on Life

This is not my work, but the work of a friend from my wonderful network on myspace. Her name is Mel, and she is quite the interesting kiddo. Anyway, I enjoyed reading her latest blog entry so much, that I decided to link it. It's a rather long, but not rambling,  collection of interesting and insightful views on life. So, anyway, here is Mel's entry that I highly recommend you check out.

Posted at 12:03 am by uncledeadly
No One Loves Me  

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
My . . . Band

I figured it might be fun to share some of my music with you guys. As some of you know, my friend, Zach and I have a little two person musical group. I recently put some of our music up on a website, so, if you have a high-speed connection, you can give it a gander. We don't have a singer yet, so there are no lyrics, but it's still a sure good time. So, take time out of your busy schedule to check out Last Night's Lover.

Posted at 10:39 am by uncledeadly
1 Person(s) Love(s) Me  

Friday, January 21, 2005
3-5 Questions

Interactive blogging . . . that's what it's all about, kiddos! This entry is a chance for you to find out more about me, whether you've never met me or you've known me for years. What you do is ask me 3 to 5 Questions no matter how random, personal, ridiculous, funny, or whatever they are, I will answer them for you. If you wish to participate, please put your questions up as a comment, and I'll post my answers up as comments as well, so they'll all be together and what not. Let's be creative and random now . . . this should be entertaining!

Posted at 01:20 am by uncledeadly
8 Person(s) Love(s) Me  

Wednesday, January 19, 2005
DIRTY DEEDS!

Well, fellow blogdrivers, I send my most sincere apologies to you all for my recent neglect of the blogdrive system. I know, I know, I haven't been updating lately, but that is definitely going to change, I promise. So, anyway, I thought of this because of a movie I watched the other night, So I Married an Axe Murderer. Might've heard of it, haha, yes, so the question of this blog is "Have you ever done something evil? Like fruits of the devil evil? Like make you say eee-vil evil?" Haha, well this should be a fun topic.

GOD, I'M A LOSER WHO NEEDS SOMETHING BETTER TO SPEND TIME ON!

me on vacation in the pits of hell

Posted at 10:35 pm by uncledeadly
3 Person(s) Love(s) Me  

Saturday, December 25, 2004
MERRY X-MAS KIDDOS!

Hey everyone! How are you all? I'm feeling quite good on this festive day. Even though I really didn't get a whole lot of cool shit for X-MAS, it was still fun. Anyway, I was just wondering if you guys might share some memories that you've gained during this wonderful holiday season, and also if you got any super sweet presents, haha.

Posted at 03:11 pm by uncledeadly
1 Person(s) Love(s) Me  

Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Original Art

I figured I'd post some art work on here. The painting is one my dad did like 30 years ago, when he was a teen . . . I think it's pretty damn good. The table would be my original coffee table . . . odd shaped . . . three legged . . . and painted up. I wouldn't have it any other way.





Posted at 11:09 pm by uncledeadly
No One Loves Me  

Thursday, December 02, 2004
What is the MPAA Rating for Your Life?

Haha, I found this quiz on a chick's myspace profile. I loved . . . I don't know, something about knowing what your life would be rated if it were a film is just appealing. Anyway, there is a link and my results below.

What is Your Life Rated?

My life is rated...


Posted at 11:46 pm by uncledeadly
No One Loves Me  


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I want your skulls . . .
My name is Mitchell,
I hope you enjoy my blog

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